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would it help if i tried

i can see clearly now the rain is gone,
i can see all obstacles in my way.


i remembered these two lines of a song today on the bus because it was sunny and warm outside and it seemed as though spring was upon us. they seemed befitting now that the weather's clearing up, just like my clouded head and mind. things have been pretty dramatic in the last 24 hours. but the best news has to be that i'm now president of warwick thai boxing. oh yeah. and it seems like it's going to give me purpose now and something to work for, and towards. it's like a new opening somewhere in life and somehow, i feel closure, although both remain totally unrelated events. seeing you last night and how unaffected you can be perhaps sealed the deal for you and me. acceptance comes with time, but what am i to do when the first person i wanted to share my good news with was you? in other unrelated news, i am tempted to do a summer term at LSE in international relations, especially when lecturers include michael cox and mary waldorf. and if my application with the army goes through, it could mean that i won't be home for summer. mixed feelings about that.

life's getting better now. i know it will. a close friend of mine at uni's totally shattered after what has to be the most unthinkable and most painful breakup. and you know how much they matter to you when you worry about them all day. i'm gonna miss uni and everyone here when i'm finally done next year. time just goes by so quickly it's mortifying. move on now people. amble on.

“would it help if i tried”