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it's been 7 hours and 15 days

8th of february. it was overwhelming. it's the kind of feeling you get when you're standing in a massive crowd and this wave of haplessness surges over you. you're disorientated and your eyes are unable to fix themselves on one point, and the faces around you seem like a blur. you're vulnerable yet at the same time, your conscious mind keeps you in control. you stumble a few steps back, you turn your head left and right trying to steady yourself. you feel like you're losing yourself to the crowd and nothing seems to hold and then suddenly, you find yourself again.

that's how it felt like lying next to you that night not being able to cross that insurmountable distance. it was overwhelming just watching you sleep and listening to your breath, watching your cheeks go up and down. the familiarity was as intense as the palpitations of my heart. the echoes of nostalgia were ricocheting off the walls as you lay in slumber and all i could do was watch the darkness grow into light. it was a perfect fit and match and everything seemed to have fallen into place, except that this was an honourable act of compassion. yet, it was a beautiful moment and i wish with all my heart and might that nothing can take that away. but the truth is, it's long been taken away with the great twisting and kneading and knotting of the heart it feels like it's being squeezed dry of emotions. it's taken a nasty battering so now, yes, i'm exhausted and there seems no purpose, no point in fighting for anything when you know the end in sight. so i stop in time and that's all there's left to do now. just stopping and willing time away.

start talking to me now please

Nothing Compares 2 U (cover) - Stereophonics

“it's been 7 hours and 15 days”