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i'm not alright

10 weeks of work went on stage last night and i breathed an air of finality after the last words of the play - 'and i'm not sure i want to be married', were uttered. for my first theatrical production in warwick, performing with such an internationally diverse cast before a foreign audience, it was an exhilarating experience.

the culture project

a one world week + codpiece theatre production

The notion of culture is everything at once: colourful and mundane; confident and unsettling; obvious and elusive. Join us in this devised piece as we explore the topic in an intimate and subtle setting of the everyday life.

Witness the interaction of the multi-cultural cast as they depict, through physical theatre, their journey through culture in its stereotypical and nuanced forms.

i guess part of the experience was coming to terms with your own culture and what it means to you personally. but more importantly to me, the play was for you and you weren't there, and all i've ever been to you was to be supportive of all that you did. today i was reminded of what it was like to lie in with someone and do nothing with all this time in my hands and i realised how tired i was. my mind strayed away and i was selfish but my heart wasn't in the right place. i'm tired of all the chasing and loving and the committing. i don't have the energy and strength anymore and i think you made me this way. and now i know of things and i cannot see you in the way you were before. i can't find explanations to the lie i believed in so much when we were together, except maybe i chose to be blind to it all. all it says is i just cannot push on anymore and i've resigned myself to my lot. i'm exhausted and spent.

i'm not sorry there's nothing to save. i'm glad i held back those words.

“i'm not alright”