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feeling a moment

today i told a little white lie because i was selfish. but would it matter when i say that today, i wished for the beginning to never have happened, so that the end, and today, would never happen. i could have held you in my arms forever and it still wouldn't be long enough, so why hold you in the first place? did i know loving you, then losing you would be so unbearable? because right now no one's ever coming this close again to performing an open heart surgery and a craniotomy on me. no one's opening me up and it's all because of you.

“feeling a moment”