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choked up

i don't like this uneasiness, i swear it tastes almost like jealousy when there's no reason for it. because i shouldn't. and i'm not allowed to.

and only because i refuse to do any work in reading week, that these words speak to me from a show i thought i had given up a long time ago.

it was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life - direction, beauty and meaning. there were many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them, but even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again, and his belief in god, in love, in art would be reawakened in his heart again.

but people always leave.

i come in here. and i sit in slience and hear the echoes of who we used to be. and so i wish for patience, and grace, and strength, to just let him be happy. and mostly i pray for the strength to not make his life worse for what i want. that's the toughest part, letting go.

sometimes i sleep in because i know when i wake up you won't be by my side


what or who do you think of when you first open your eyes in the morning. truth is, it's still you. how are you? do you miss me like i miss you? how do i get you back? and then another day without you begins.

someone write me an essay by friday.

“choked up”