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buttercup

the last time i was this ill in warwick i had you to fuss over me. you force-fed me kiwis and multivitamins and specifically told my housemates to check in on me when you had to leave for the weekend. and now under medication, one dreams of you while in deep slumber and in these dreams we kiss. i enjoy the lull of medicine and the dreams my mind entertains but when i awake, the aches of my illness are still there, but the reality of life seems to hurt more. i still can't get the image of you and w in bed together because that very same morning i was tempted to walk into his room just to lay to rest the misgivings of the mind. i am a fool. an ill one at that.

“buttercup”