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rise

it's good to be back. walking up and down earlsdon street's like a scene out of desperate housewives, minus the hot mamas. but it's nice and cosy and you get a true sense of what living in the uk's all about. i mean, away from the big city and into the smaller towns. my room's starting to look inhabited and is growing to become more like me so that's good. meeting up with friends as they slowly trickle back brings tales of endless stories of summer.

and all's that lacking now is you. i couldn't decide how i'm gonna feel when i see you for the first time since summer started. we've spoken twice in the three months that have passed and perhaps this silence was part of the plan to give us the time and space we needed. and i guess part of me wants you to know that i've looked back at the past year and realised how silly and childish i've been at times. there are things that i wanna do now to make it better. i was reading our facebook messages to each other and there are parts when i asked myself what made me say that. i need to grow up and that's what this year's gonna be about. i need to start acting like a 21 year old like you've said. but what's all that gonna mean without you, i don't know. right now all i wanna do is wait for you to get back, to see you for the very first time, and pray so hard that my heart doesn't quiver because yours may not. and that's when i lapse back into the hugest mistake i'm prone to and that's being presumptious. this summer was all about moving on and i guess i've tried. i've done all that i could do and it now simply hedges on that one moment. that one look. and you have no idea how badly i want you to tell me it was all a mistake.

“rise”