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it comes down to this

it meant letting go and never taking you back. for what is the undoable, is to be my future. and my life goes beyond the present. so as much as i want to say yes to what we have, and reject the part of me that is connected to a life of old, i cannot. for it is not the present i live for, nor is it for the impulse of the emotion. it is for what is to come, for what has been fought for and protected, and for the selfish notion of self-preservation. no, they will not know. they cannot know. and i cannot ask you to be a part of the lie, for the weight of falsity is mine and not yours to bear. it tears me apart to say no, but that is the fact of life, that we never really get what we want, that life will, and always, be a lie that we live through never really owning what truly belongs to us. and we shall labour on till we forget what we once shared, believing that this is for the best, and that i'm merely a selfish and cowardly shadow of a man who never really stood before the light.

sorry.

“it comes down to this”