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brooding

i'm starting to worry about my life in the army. what if this enthusiasm and hyperactivity is but a mere transient and temporary phase that i'm going through? an excitement brewed from the novelty of life in the army, and in 36 sce. there's so much left to explore and am i really exposing myself to all the elements that life has to offer? am i'm ostracising myself from the rest of the world, holing myself up in what i believe to be the crux of my passion - eod? it's this inane questioning that's making me pause where i'm at and wonder what's going in my life. i wanna be doing what i enjoy and what i'm passionate about, and i believe i'm doing that this very moment. but what if i'm wrong? what's gonna sustain this belief and faith in the next 3 years in uk? what's gonna keep me grounded, to tell me that i am still very much passionate about my work?

even in the army, i don't wanna just be stuck doing eod stuff in 36 sce. i wanna move about and be exposed to the different levels that make up the army. moving up the ranks means moving away from the ground work, the foundation that you've set yourself into now. planning and management swings into place and that's what excites me. i wanna be an instructor. i wanna teach people and induct them into life in the army and watch them grow into the men that NS has promised them to become. inducing the fervour to take them through their 2 years of NS liability isn't easy, but watching them achieve it foretells tales of endless satisfaction.

all i'm wishing for now is that i've the drive to get me through the next 3 years and not forget what i've been fighting for the last 7 months here in eod. i wanna come back rejuvenated and be ready to take on the exciting prospects of being an officer in the army, doing what i believe could potentially change lives.

on a side note, vidz is back! she called me this afternoon when i was in the office and she's all excited about me going over to the uk too, although she's in southampton. holidays are being planned even before i fly off. haha. can't wait to catch up with her!

“brooding”

  1. Blogger jacqueline Says:

    vidhi is high all the time.

    somehow i think you 2 make good friends, both high...

  2. Blogger ranon Says:

    haha. i meant vidhya. not vidhi. haha