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twenty years on

ok. i'm back from lunch and movie with best friend and gang. watched next coz the timings for pirates was too off. damn. and next was terrible terrible. totally anti climatic. people were like booing it when the twist, or so they call it, unravelled. to simply put it, the whole movie was a mere vision that never materialised. so we were glued to the movie screen for an hour and a half and none of it happened. bullshit.

so yes. i'm officially twenty now. a few more hours to go. i think i've reached a point in life where i'm no longer a teenager, and not yet an adult. no man's land. it's a transition phase where i've to start figuring out what i wanna do with my life. my age will no longer start with 1 anymore. it's a huge undertaking i guess as i migrate into the regions of adulthood. and with this migration comes greater responsibility and accountability. it's the gray area, unclear and undefined. it's a phase of trial and error, where i amble along, trying and failing before moving on. only this time around, lesser mistakes and quicker remedies are permissible.

the age is tantalising. it signifies the prime of your youth. it should be an exuberant celebration of colours and joy and immense life. like a fun fair, with the carousel and ferris wheel and bumper cars and cotton candy and big top tents filled with clowns and elephants and the tightrope walkers. it's a celebration of sorts, the excitement and ecstasy that inebriates the young and young at heart. the intoxicating fumes of a lust for the vibrancy of spring. i should be soaking in every single moment of this age!

right now, my friends have become the bright lights and ferris wheel and carousel and the tightrope walkers. they're the ones who provide the drama and comedy and excitement in my life. they're the stiltwalkers and fire breathers. the ringmaster and lion tamer. they're in control, and they've all pulled me into their lives, welcoming and all embracing. i can almost hear the laughter, see the smiles of the jubilant. in this headspinning and giddy world of untruths and darkness, they provide the aspirin and the light to make it all better. they're there to laugh and celebrate with you, and of course, to withstand the harshest of winds with you. so thank you to those who've made a difference. old friends new friends, thank you. this birthday's for all you people. for making me who i am today, and for getting me through one of the roughest patches in life. uk won't be the same coz you guys won't be there, so this makes this birthday all the more significant. thank you.

and happy birthday jun ren! it's our bday! haha.

more photos. (thank you cass)

the secret lover. shh.

man. we all look good.

teng. scandalous.

i'm surrounded with people who love baring their cleavages.

girls love me. or so i think.

“twenty years on”